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Since Halloween is coming up real quick I figured I’d throw some “spooky” books your way. Well, kindof. These two books aren’t scary per se, but they do involve monsters. Two of the most popular in fact: Vampires and werewolves. Now, recently anything involving these creatures has been….well…shit. Some of them aren’t even
really about vampires or werewolves. I think they slapped on the names so that it would sucker in a broader audience (You know what I’m talking about.) But here are two that I did enjoy (as well as a brief mention of a third) that I think managed to portray these monsters effectively and loyaly.
Also, keep in mind that these books are aimed at
older people. So anyone under they age of, let’s say, fourteen stay the hell away from these books until at least your voice cracks.
Vamped by
David SosnowskiI mentioned this book before in a previous rec and now I’m giving it its own review and rec. As I said before, I LOVED THIS BOOK!! It was absolutely hilarious! Yes, it is about vampires, despite it being a comedy. You want evidence of this?
There is blood on the first page (I mean imaginary blood, given to you through written word, not actual blood. That would go against safety regulations). And there is quite a lot of blood throughout the entire book. Including one scene that may just scar you for life (Seriously, if the narrator warns you about this from the beginning of the book, to point at which it actually happens…you might wanna skip it). But enough of that, onto the summary:
It’s just another night in the never-ending life of Marty Kowalski. With his trademark slogan – “There’s a sucker born every minute” – this blood-drinking bachelor has managed to talk half the mortal world into joining the graveyard shift. Now vampires outnumber humans and Marty is ready to die- again. With modern conveniences like synthetic blood and Mr. Plasma machines the thrill of the hunt is gone. Especially for Marty, who’s started to wonder if he should settle down and maybe start a family. Hey, it could happen. But is this confirmed nightcrawler fully prepared to adopt –and raise- a human of his own?
I said this in my review of his other book, but I feel inclined to say it again: David Sosnowski is
Brilliant. He took these solitary creatures of the night and modernized them. Giving them biology, enough psychological issues to gag a horse, and the most inventive (And laughably plausible) way for them to usurp society and start their own. Marty…hehe, he makes me giggle. Especially with his blunt way of speaking (My favorite line in this book is the first one of Chapter 4. It just takes you completely by surprise and sends you into convulsions of laughter). It’s also interesting how the story is essentially about him becoming a single parent to something that all of his neighbors would jump at the chance to eat if they knew about it. It makes him a (justifiably) paranoid parent to an extremely rebellious kid who can be very vocal (and more than a little passive aggressive) about her views on his paranoia. It makes for a lot of shenanigans and I don’t want to spoil anything that happens but…Elbows…lol if you do pick up this book you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about when you come to it
This is probably going to remain one of my favorite books of all time. Hell, it’s definitely my favorite vampire novel ever. I really recommend you find and read this book (I still see it everywhere so I know it’s available). It’s pretty much guaranteed to make you laugh and the characters are all really engaging.
Blood and Chocolate by
Annette Curtis KlauseI may have a little trouble reviewing this, because I can’t seem to remove my nostalgia-goggles when regarding it. This was my first “Adult” book that I read (when I was 14…shut up, it’s not that bad) and it’s certainly the only good book I’ve read about my favorite monsters: Werewolves. And, also, I am talking about
the book. Not that piece of shit movie that came out in 2007. THAT atrocity made me cry just after watching the trailer because of how badly they butchered the book. And, I have to say, I read the summary for the movie just to see exactly how bad they fucked it up….It has nothing -
NOTHING - to do with the book except the names and the werewolf concept. I really hope Klause never saw the movie….Anyways, onto the book~!
Vivian relishes in the change, the sweet, fierce ache that carries her from girl to wolf. At sixteen, she is beautiful, strong and all the young wolves are on her tail. But Vivian still grieves her father, the former pack leader. Her pack is leaderless and in disarray. She feels lost in the suburbs of Maryland and longs for a Normal life…but what is normal to a werewolf? Then Vivian falls in love with a human, a meat-boy. Aiden is kind and gentle, a welcome relief from the squabbling pack. He’s fascinated by magic and Vivian longs to reveals herself to him (Which is against her kind’s laws). Surely he would understand her and delight in the duality of her nature, not fearing her as an ordinary human would. Vivian’s divided loyalties are stretched further when a brutal murder threatens to expose her pack. She moves between two worlds but doesn’t seem to belong to either. What is she really, human or beast?
Alright, so this is a romance but it’s different from your standard cookie-cutter-harlequin (I won’t spoil
how; you’ll have to read it yourself). I will however give a little exposition and explain why Vivian is not (as per standard romance law indicates) a Mary-Sue. First, let’s address Vivian’s “beauty,” they make it pretty obvious that it’s genetic; inherited from her mother. Except where Vivian doesn’t (usually) care about her looks, her mother exploits the hell out of it (*cough* Slut *cough*). Next, “All of the young wolves are on her tail,” I’m pretty sure she’s the
only female werewolf her age in the pack. Every other female is either too young or a mother. So that makes her pretty much the
only option for these horndogs because humans are very strictly off-limits (Especially after what happened in the prologue). In fact, she goes by pretty much unnoticed around normal humans. Now onto her personality, she is most definitely not perfect by any stretch of the word. She’s sarcastic, rude, gets jealous, depressed and can be quite spiteful. In short, she’s a teenage girl. That’s the whole point. Her adolescent insecurities are compounded by the fact that she is a supernatural being, but feels just as much an outcast with her kind as she does with normal people. She just wants to belong somewhere. She doesn’t even actively set out to fall in love, it happens, as per adolescent hormones demand. I still find her to be a likable character because despite her shortcomings she really is a nice person.
Now for the werewolf aspect. It’s a little different that the “standard” myth (standard is in quotes because there’s more diversity in their origins, so you could easily choose from several different myths or make a combination of a few). For one, they can transform at will, although their abilities are still linked to the moon and they do not have a choice as to whether or not they transform on the night of the full moon. They also maintain their minds and personalities while changed, but they’re more inclined to give in to their instincts and “exorcise their demons.” The parts when the characters are changed are my favorites in fact because Klause does a great job of portraying them as sentient beasts. I especially love what happens in middle of the book,
the Ordeal.
So this book is a romance/fantasy/murder mystery. I enjoyed it back when I was a teen and *flips through again* I still like it now. I’m definitely going to have to make time to read it again. Since it’s only a couple hundred pages I can read it in pretty much one sitting, so maybe I’ll just curl up with again one night when I have time. This is also a book that I always wished had a follow-up story. I want to see how everything pans out after the conclusion. Is the transition easy, or full of more bumps in the road? I’d like to think the characters found a happy ending (And had a puppy =3 *girlish giggle*), but things don’t always work out that way and I’d very much like to see what happens.
Now this last book is also written by Annette Curtis Klause, but I can’t go into too much detail because
a) I don’t own it
b) I haven’t read this since I was fourteen. That makes it kind of hard to do a concise review, but I’ll try anyways.
The Silver Kiss by
Annette Curtis KlauseThis is the vampire romance I grew up with. And I have to say, just from what I can remember it was a MILLION TIMES better than Twilight. Any of you Twihards out there, please read this instead. It’s better written, has better characters and, oh, ACTUALLY HAS VAMPIRES IN IT (No, you can’t convince me that Twilight has Vampires in it when the author herself admitted to not knowing pretty much
anything about vampires before-hand so she just wrote whatever the fuck she wanted. They are not vampires. Period.)
16-year-old (almost 17) Zoë's life is falling apart; her beautiful mother is dying of bone cancer and her best friend, Lorraine, is drifting away. So when the mysterious and handsome Simon comes along with a more profound loneliness, a tentative friendship is formed. But Simon seems to have some serious problems as she finds him with blood all over his face and claims that he is a 300 year-old vampire. She questions his sanity, even moreso after he claims to know who the serial-killer causing panic in her town is. What will become of this relationship and what will become of Simon when –or if – he exacts his revenge for the death of his mother three centuries ago?
This is a story for teens. It casts accurate portrayals of teenagers, their insecurities and immaturities and doesn’t cop-out with a Hollywood ending. It’s engaging and remains faithful to the vampire lore. I really enjoyed this book as a teen and looking back on it, I would probably still like it if I read it again. And it seems like now would be a perfect time to do so, because the book was re-released this year with two short stories, one giving more exposition into Simon’s past and the other following up on Zoë after the events of the original story. (This is what I want for ‘Blood and Chocolate’ *prays for a rerelease with follow-up despite the fact she already owns the book*) Plus, the antagonist (that little pissant *growls*) may just get under your skin and actually poses a threat to the leads.
Again, I say, if you’re a teenager and want to read a romance story with a vampiric back-drop
read this. It won’t rot your brain like the other shit out on the market right now. (Seriously, It’s a Million-times better. Stephanie Meyer is a hack and I think I’m actually going to burn my copy of Twilight this Halloween in order to appease the literary Gods she’s pissed off).
(I’m not going to give it a rating since I don’t have it and haven’t read it in so long)
Well, that concludes my Halloween recs. I am going to try and keep up with recs and post one a month. If I forget to do this and you really want a rec, just beat me with a fish
and I’ll post something eventually (I’ll also back up my reviews and recs from now on).
(And, yes, all of the puns were intentional.)
DA Idols 
DA Friends 
An Explanation 
Suffering
Mesmerized
Zeal
Content
Characters 
